Marriage is hard! There is no other way to put it. You may see a lot of pictures on social media of couples looking amazingly happy and picture perfect. Maybe it makes you doubt if you and your husband are in a successful marriage.
My advice to you is, do not worry, instead just work on your marriage and it will flourish. The truth is - marriage takes a lot of work. The good news is that its easier to deal with the challenges when you and your husband are on the same page.
By this I mean, you need to come to an agreement about the big things and stop sweating the small stuff. Taking time to forge an understanding with your husband will ensure that you are walking the same journey. Otherwise, you will always feel like you are alone in your marriage or misunderstood and that's not a good feeling. It seems like a hustle but taking time to agree with your spouse on specific issues will help you avoid the major obstacles that often make marriages fail.
Let me give you some ideas on where to start, and you can figure out more together with your husband.
Deal-breakers: There are some things that you can tolerate from a person and others that you know will drive you over the edge. Those things that can push you over the edge are what I call deal breakers. It's essential that you and your husband know the deal breakers in your marriage. It establishes boundaries that both of you cannot cross. Each of you knows that if you pass these boundaries, it will cause upheaval in your marriage. Therefore you will be extra careful not to do so thereby protecting and strengthening your love.
Goals and values: If two people are walking together and they are facing different directions, you can bet they will soon part. In your marriage, you and your husband have to have the same goals and values on significant issues. Try to be on the same page about important things such as religious beliefs and whether you want children or not. What your retirement plan is, and how you intend to save for it and so on. Life in marriage is so much easier when you have a partner with whom you agree. There will be little conflict, and you will become friends that like to spend time together. Also, when you appreciate each other's values and goals, you will be able to support each other through life's challenges.
Love language: Love is the backbone of many successful marriages. To love your husband and connect with him you must learn his love language. A love language is how a person feels most loved by another. There are five languages of love, and you have to find out what works for your husband. Does your husband love gifts, or does he prefer acts of service where you do things for him and pamper him. He could also prefer words of affirmation where you praise him and encourage him often. Other people prefer quality time where they get to spend time with their lover without interruptions. There are also those that prefer physical touch through kisses, hugs, massages and physical intimacy. Whatever your husbands love language, make sure you satisfy his desire, and your marriage will flourish. Otherwise, he will find someone else out there who understands his love language and fulfill his need for him, and that's not right.
Communication: You will not be on the same page with your spouse if you cannot communicate. In fact, everything you need to make a marriage work requires communication. So you and your spouse must agree about how to communicate, and do it often. Through communication, you will be able to iron out issues that would otherwise destroy your bond. Its the only way to even find out if you and your husband are on the same page in the first place. So make sure you keep the channels of communication with your husband open at all times. These are just a few areas you and your husband need to be on the same page to enjoy your marriage. Doing these things will ensure that you and your spouse are always walking in the same direction in agreement and that's what marriage is all about anyway!
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